Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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