he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
