I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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