I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
