i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize