Whod you bang
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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