he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
