sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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