She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
this just has baby written all over it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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