The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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