Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
