I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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