this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Also, beer. Big fan.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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