I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I need a beard to bite.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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