You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
