right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
