She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
