I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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