im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
