I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
