i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
