Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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