She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
