Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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