PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
