I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
