He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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