Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
