i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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