She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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