You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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