i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
