Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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