apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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