Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
