you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
