Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
