i can't believe i had my finger in that
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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