I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
