so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
