if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
