so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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