Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
