trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
