Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
