He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
