are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
