Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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