so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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