your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
even my farts smell like vagina
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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