Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
