Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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