marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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