the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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