mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
