would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
